


Purgatory

by BardsAmbrosia



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Angst, Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-08-09 05:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16443491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BardsAmbrosia/pseuds/BardsAmbrosia
Summary: A diary of sorts or vent fic. Something to help free up my mind and something to draw inspiration from.





	1. I want to be alone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Migraine.

I want to be alone. Free of all the baggage that I'm helping other people carry, free of all the baggage that doesn't belong to me. I think it's selfish to think that way and it makes me feel disgusted with myself because they can't carry it alone. So, I'll keep those thoughts to myself. I don't want to hurt them especially because I know they're hurting alot already.


	2. Annoying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Irritable.

I'm not a good person for feeling that way when they come home from work. They do all they can for me, always sacrificing themselves in a hopes to make me feel more comfortable, and I don't think I'm grateful enough. It's easier to be indifferent than to tell them how I really feel in those instances of when my head hurts just hearing them speak. I think I know why I feel like this, but again, it's easier to be indifferent and to not acknowledge it. It's easier for me to be quiet and look at my phone or go in the bathroom and sit in the dark because the light just makes my migraine worse. It's easier to just be miserable by myself.

 

I couldn't tell them any of that because once you say something, you can't take it back. That wouldn't be fair at all to make them feel like the only person they can count on finds them habitually annoying for little to no good reason.

 

Sometimes in those instances, in the back of my mind, I wonder if they think I feel that way. I really hope not. I hope they think I'm just a miserable girl. Something simple like that. With that thought in mind, it makes my life easier.


	3. Dad

Even with all the pain he's caused me and how much I resent him, when he held my wrist I found myself not wanting him to let go. 

 

And I think it's really fucked up.

 

I found more comfort in my dad holding my wrist for some seconds than my mom's warm and tight embrace.

 

It feels really messed up.


	4. My best friend died.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My dog passed away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://pin.it/ih6cone2lcntq5
> 
> I need this on my wall so that every time I wake up I remember.

After he passed on Jan 19 I had lost complete interest in everything I enjoy. I wanted to spend just one more birthday with him. I never finished certain goals I had originally set out to do this year. Things were hard before he died, but nothing fun seemed to matter afterward. It's hard when a piece of you dies, when someone that has always been in your corner, and by your side disappears. But giving up isn't what he'd want for me, to be sad all the time. Even though my mind is constantly in a state of unrest, I'm really going to try get myself together, spiritually, mentally and physically. I can't depend on others to make me happy. I have to make myself happy. I gotta atleast fake it til I make it. Even though he was dying, he stood and walked until he started to fall down...and even then he still tried to stand. He moved forward, and as steady as he could even though he was blind. I have my health and my youth. I have to be strong too, no matter what happens.


End file.
